Posted by: Modern Mom | December 8, 2011

Fancy Soaps are for DINKs

It’s a phenomenon I’ve never understood – decorative soaps. It ranks right up there with His and Hers bath towels that you can’t use. I’m flabbergasted at why one would purchase such an item to place in your bathroom with the intention to never use it. I was recently visiting a home with these decorative soaps and had to inform my son that this soap was not to be touched or used. He was as confused as I was and when he asked me why, I honestly didn’t have a very good answer. They’re just here to look pretty. I could tell he was mystified. I’ve determined what type of  people purchase such items. DINKs. That is, Dual-income-NO-KIDS.

People with kids don’t have these sorts of things. We have dirty, used and abused things. Broken things. Lost things. My father-in-law said it best when he said, “When you have kids, that’s all you have.” Sage words indeed.

You see, DINKs have plenty of expendable income to spend on such frivolities as unusable soaps, decorative bath towels, and bowls full of exotic potpourri. They don’t have any littles running around breaking into bathrooms and using potpourri shavings as boats in a sea of suds created with fancy soaps. They own lovely glass decorations and pottery, and keep them out where people can view them and littles can touch them (and of course break them). Nor do they have gates and locks and barricades and latches on every opening and potentially hazardous item in their homes. One can freely roam their home without fighting with a childproof doorknob, should one choose.

People with kids, on the other hand, have none of these frivolities because they’ve all been broken, hidden, lost, drowned, flushed, soiled, repurposed by kids, and otherwise rendered useless. We’ve replaced decorative items with toys and books, fences and gates. Our cupboards are latched so that even most adults can’t open them, but somehow our 1-and-a-half-year-old can. All bottles of anything potentially toxic or spillable are hidden. Our messes have grown by a factor of 10 and our time has diminished by at least that. What on Earth did I ever do with my time before kids?

My life, although far from glamorous, is one of simplicity and I like it that way. I would never trade what I have now for all the nice things I had when we were DINKs. My stacks of dirty laundry, handprints on the windows and walls, scattered toys, dirty dishes, beat up furniture, and half-done projects are battle scars I wear proudly. They tell the story of a house with happy children who have plenty of clothes to wear, food in their bellies, toys to play with, and a mommy who happily works from home so that I’m always there to help nurture them. That was the goal, and I think we’ve accomplished it.

The disorganized books. This drives me nuts, being a Type A, but at least they're on the shelf. My Type A must shut off for a few years, I'm afraid.

The poor, beat-up coffee table we refuse to get rid of until kids are bigger and can treat my lovely new table nicely. Until then, this battle-scarred beauty graces my living room.


"And a fence around every tree." Name that movie, if you have kids.

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