Posted by: Modern Mom | March 1, 2012

Pressure Cooking: The Extreme Sport

I dare you to try the new thrill sport that requires not only a strong stomach and steel nerves, but extreme multi-tasking skills. You’d better be good under pressure, because this sport is not only dangerous but a test of will. It’s called, Pressure Cooking. Or more plainly, cooking under pressure.

In this sport your goal is to make dinner in just 29 minutes. Simple, you say? Ah, but not for the extreme sports enthusiast. Accomplish your goal under the most extreme conditions.You will serve your dinner to a panel of judges and be scored on three areas: Multi-tasking, Food Taste and Presentation, Timing of Meal Elements.

You’ll start in a space-challenged kitchen. Nothing fancy here. You have a very short list of ingredients available to you. Some of these ingredients cannot be used because the judges are finicky. Perhaps you make a portion of dinner with those ingredients and the other portion without. It’s up to you.

You begin by staring blankly into the refrigerator trying to materialize a dinner plan. Now add a puppy nipping your heels, the dishes you need to use are dirty, two kids are begging you to feed them instantly or they will surely die, and the phone is ringing. You must not ignore any of these things. They must all be dealt with. That is the multi-tasking portion of the score. Once these issues are dealt with, you’re not done. There will be new tests. The children will immediately disperse to another room to try to kill one another. The dog will pee on the carpet. The phone will ring again. A pot will boil over. Your husband will start asking you questions about the finances.

Still not extreme enough? Did I mention you have 14 minutes left? Oh, and the milk is sour! (dun dun dun! Can you hear the menacing music?)

You deal with the dog mess, separate the children and tell the telephone solicitor that you know nobody of the sort and hang up. Well played!

Did you forget that you have noodles boiling? Oops! Now they’re over done and goopy. Do you start over or serve less-than-desirable noodles? Remember, you have a foodie on the judges panel as well as two finicky judges. Part of your score is based on taste and presentation.

You have just 8 minutes left. Wait? Wasn’t there chicken to be cooked? Crap. You slice the chicken into small bits and sear it so it cooks quickly. Brilliant. You’ll probably get extra points for that. Thank goodness, because you’re going to have to serve those noodles.

It’s time to start plating. All the plates are in the dishwasher. You improvise and use bowls. A nice save and totally acceptable because it’s pasta. Feeling pretty good about yourself, you serve up the bowls, round up the kids and sit down. Then, the largest judge says, “Isn’t there bread?”

That’s when you smell smoke. Well, there goes your timing score.

Photo credit: http://cartooncaricatures.blogspot.com

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Responses

  1. So true! You are one funny girl Amy, always a good read!

    Like

  2. […] in a great while my extreme cooking pays off in the form of a successful recipe and I end up with nothing short of a small miracle; a […]

    Like


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