Posted by: Modern Mom | August 5, 2012

The “Dohnwannas”

This is a term I coined when my first son was two. The Dohnwannas. More pointedly, “I don’t wanna”. He didn’t want to do anything. And now my second born, my sweet angel, has been stricken with this illness.

I love the 12-24 month period. They are wonderful. Discovering new things. Learning to talk. They’re mobile and exploring. They are still sweet and … well, pliable. Then… they turn two. (dun dun dun) *could you hear the scary horror movie music right there?*

Sigh. What happens to them at age two? It doesn’t matter what I do or say, he’s against it. “Do you want to slide down a rainbow and eat marshmallows and cuddle puppies today?”

NO! I dohn wanna. (cuz that’s how they say it, right?) And a fit ensues.

It happens daily. Hourly, in fact. Almost everything ends this way now.

He will ask me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Done! Happy to oblige. Because that’s easy, peanut butter and jelly. So I make the sandwich and hand it to the little angel that asked me for it. But the angel has been replaced by a demon who replies in a high-pitched wail of agony,

“NOOOO!!! I dohn want peanut butter and jelly!” And a whole fit of rage over my horrible parenting skills begins. What a terrible, mean, horrible, very bad mother I am to present him with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he asked for. When it was so clear that he wanted something entirely different.

At this point I may vary from other parents’ styles. This is where my answer to his fit is, “I guess you’re not that hungry.” And I set the sandwich on the counter and begin to walk away. (this isn’t my first rodeo, after all.)

This begins a whole new tantrum. He actually does want the sandwich after all. Now I’m the terrible mother for denying him access to life-giving food. But this time, I have the upper hand.

“Oh, you want this sandwich? Okay, I suppose you can have it if you say please.”

Then an amazing thing happens, he says please, he takes the sandwich, and he sits and eats it.

Mom – 1, toddler – 0.

Actually the score is more like Mom – 1, toddler – 2,137, but who’s counting? I have to take my wins where I can get them.



  1. Haha! Love it. You might like my post on a similiar topic:


  2. […] goodness they grow out of some of the terrible seasons we’ve been through. Like the “dohnwanna” season. My oldest outgrew that already, and hopefully my youngest will outgrow it soon. […]


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