Posted by: Modern Mom | December 31, 2012

Don’t Cry to Me

Having two active boys has changed my parenting style. For my own sanity and health I’ve had to adjust my expectations.  I used to forbid crazy activity, wild shenanigans, tom-foolery, and anything potentially hazardous. Ha! I’ve learned to pick my battles. It saves my stress level.

For example, rough housing was out of the question just a year ago. My oldest was 3 1/2 and the youngest was 1 1/2. They were easier to control then. (Ah, the good ol’ days) It was simple to just separate them when they got too rough. Time out when the oldest hit the youngest, and so on.

Over the past year things have changed a bit. Strict “Don’t do that” has turned into warnings that always bear the final “if it goes wrong, don’t cry to me!” My oldest is the biggest offender. He is constantly wrestling with the dog, for example, and getting nipped then crying to me after I warned him not to do exactly what he did. He doesn’t usually find much sympathy with me.

The other day I busted them jumping off the fifth stair. I cautioned them against the activity and warned them of potential injury. Good mom. They didn’t heed my warning. Someone got hurt. He didn’t get much sympathy. And of course I always say, “Now do you understand why I told you not to do that?” Not that that changes anything. They were back to it shortly after anyway.

I’ve come to the conclusion that they are just going to have to learn by making their own mistakes, getting hurt, and so on. It’s the way life is, right? You have to learn by making your own mistakes. No matter the advice others who have gone before give you. It’s how we learn. I just didn’t realize that boys have such a crazy long learning curve. I had no idea it would take so many mistakes, boo-boos, bangs, time-outs and owies. I had no idea that I would have to repeat things thousands of times for them to get it. Maybe more. Heck, they haven’t learned a thing. I could go on saying the same things for years. They still do really stupid things and end up getting hurt.

My philosophy now is different. If I warn you not to do something stupid, and tell you the possible consequences, and you choose to do it anyway…. Don’t cry to me!

Have a safe and happy New Year!



  1. Well put, Amy! Ha ha… Boys will be boys, no matter how hard we try to protect them!


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